Surviving Christmas Without Your Child

Surviving Christmas Without Your Child

I must survive Christmas without my child. Again. I’m really trying not to dread the holidays. Trying to embrace them though is like trying to embrace a snarling beast. You might find a safe spot to hug, but most likely it’s going to hurt like hell. Last year without our son was everything you would imagine the first Christmas without your child to be and then some. I have learned that everyday after losing a child you must make a decision to want to continue to live or wanting to die. And by “die”, I don’t necessarily mean leaving this earth. There are many ways … Continue reading

Disoriented

disoriented by grief, in the mind of a bereaved parent

  Disoriented. That’s how it feels sometimes, maybe a lot of the time. On some days I must seem a little distant as a result. Not spacey, but just slightly removed. I try not to be when other people are around, but many times it is when other people are around that our minds are brought back to places and times that once were, or thrown forward to places and times that won’t be. I am aware of the momentary disconnect this can create and often think people must wonder what goes on in my head. Possibly we all appear so ‘normal’ and ‘good’ that most think … Continue reading

Child Loss Literacy-The Judgement Rant

Child Loss Awareness,

I’m not typically a ranter, but I had a rant this week and it was necessary. This was a Facebook post written out of anger, frustration and helplessness for what others think and say about how grievers may choose to grieve and learn to live again. We need some child loss literacy training in our culture. This isn’t just about me, but more about what I’ve heard from this community of Mom’s.                                                                     … Continue reading

When Back-To-School Isn’t.

Back-to-school for bereaved parents, when back to school isn't

There used to be a “Staples” back-to-school commercial that made me laugh. It had Moms and Dads with their pouty kids in tow, gleefully dancing and riding shopping carts down the aisles of Staples to the Christmas classic “Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.” I admit it was one of my favorite commercials. It was funny. After 9 weeks or so of having children home for the summer, any parent probably has moments, as fall approaches, where they want to sing that tune too. Even so, summer is such a special time for families and ours was no different. For years we began … Continue reading

The Ripple Effect- Secondary Loss

secondary loss, secondary loss of grief, the ripple effect of grief, grief changes your life, loss of a child,surviving loss of a child

You’ve been moving through life. You know there is no “normal” except maybe the new one you are trying to figure out, but you’re carrying the weight of your loss more effectively. You can (almost) control the days you can’t control because you are back to work and everyone expects normalcy. You’ve come to accept that sorrow flows through your veins like the part of you it has become, but you are thinking forward and you even laugh sometimes. It feels good to laugh. You’ve found some reasons to keep going and it occurs to you that you are surviving this thing … Continue reading